Why why why won't the world revolve around me..?

In my dreams tress grow all over the streets.

Lame sauce tastes kind of lame. Hm.

OMfG. Nickelodeon won't let me play spongebob diner dash! I'm getting upset. I'm also mildly concerned I just said that outloud. Oh well, who is going to judge me, YOU?!
Yeah, thats what I though.

So, finally something interesting happened at work today, and not Ric singing Sexual Healing to me, although that was pretty funny too. Today, I came in looking all good looking and what not and walk into the break room where Bob (assistant manager) and Dustin (retard) (not an actual retard, redneck is a better word) are sitting up there. I say Hi and smile and start putting my stuff into my locker when Bob says, "The police are coming up to talk to you today."
Me: "Um, what? Why?!"
Bob: "They think they cashier was in on it."

[Backstory time!! Yay!! Two Sundays ago some Mexican came in with a stolen credit card and stole like, six hundred dollars worth of gift cards with someone elses credit card. I checked his ID and called for Rodney, so I didn't do anything wrong at this point, but it figures that when my yearly review is coming up I would fuck up badly. Good bye raise.]
Me: (panicking) WHAT?! Why do they think that?!
(my whole future is flashing before my eyes...good bye nursing career...)
Bob (beings gulping down powerade); Just kidding Marybeth. Jeeze.

So, I assumed he had just been joking, but an officer did come up and talk to me, he was nice, I told him what I remembered.
We were there for fucking ever last night. I cleaned the shit out of that place. Someone has to, and god knows the boys won't, but they will be mildly obnoxious and watch me do it, bless them.

Trying to reason with a dog is like reasoning with my toaster. No matter how many times I ask, it still does not give me my toast back.
Nick went to the gym with me last night (miracle of miracles) and they were giving away Dick Enrico talking bobble heads (He's like some pitch man, I didn't know either) free, so Nick took one, and we put it on the floor and played it and omFg, Jasper flips his tiny switch. He starts barking at it and running at the bobble head, snapping at it, but never quite getting close enough to touch it. We die laughing every time. If you come down soon Cindy you have to see it.

You will be down again before Jasper is grown up? He's becoming really solid. Friday I need to set up his neuter appointment. I feel kind of bad, but at the same time I don't want him fucking my baby angel.
Still no diner dash. This is sad.

Jasper peed right next to Nick. So funny. I shouldn't be this amused, but Nick's face is so funny. Yesterday he was cleaning pee, and Jasper peed right next to him in a new spot. Omg, I died laughing.

Alright...I guess I'll go take a shower.

-embee