I've been beaten down..

..I've been kicked around...

Today is actually a really nice day. I love walking out of the building and have a perfect sunny day shining out at me. Plus I don't have to work, and I was thinking about taking my shit ton of homework to the zoo to work on, which I do occasionally seeing as how school is right next to Forest Park, and I actually cut through the park to get to school and back anyway (until 64 is completed I'm taking the back way, I hate 70, and going all the way down to 44 is stupid.
But anyway, I decided not to go to the park in favor of coming home, I was thinking about a nap or something, but it's too nice for that either. I don't even know why I'm blogging, I have my running shorts/shirt/shoes/hair on, I was going to take the dogs to Creve Coeur park on the duck trail, which no duck could ever walk, it's about four miles long. I am pretty sure Jasper will be able to handle this, I know Colbie can, we've walked it before.
Mmm, so yeah. Cody just called, sorry I was afk. Not that you notice.

If you were so hormonal, you could have called and cried to me, I wouldn't have minded. I know what it's like, when I started mine this month I had a big old sob fest, which felt fucking awesome. Also it was embarrassing because Nick was like, wtf.
Speaking of wtf, Nick is obsessed with buying a house. He has found one, he called them about it today, they're going to call him back about whether he can have it or not, and my mind if boggled. He didn't tell me he was thinking about moving into a house at all, so as far as I knew, he was fine with the apartment. Apparently not. He keeps throwing around words like 'investment' and 'back yard' and 'you can paint the kitchen yellow', and I get distracted. It's in a really nice neighborhood, three bedrooms, one bath, a basement, a backyard for the puppies...
Me, Nick, and his dad are going to look at the inside of it today, I'm kind of excited, but also pretty scared, I mean, I panic when it comes to commitment like things, and not in the gay, "oh ryan dumped me, I can never love again" way, but in the, "my dad abandoned me as a child, step dad beat me up, and was raped when seventeen (be proud I just said the word, it's a big step)" way, and I'm trying to get over it, and Nick let me rant and ramble it out last night, so at least I'm not keeping it in. I told him all I wanted was to finish school, settle down, and have kids. We talked about how we didn't want me to get fat when we had babies, which was funny.
So I'll let you know how the house tour goes later. I'm sure once I see it I will love it. Maybe. It might be awful. But I like the idea that this house will be our first home, we might have children in it, I will graduate in it...and I get to be back in Maryland Heights, woot.

Alright. Nick is here, peace out.

-embee