Please don't let me fuck this up...

I feel bad for being in a good mood after reading MB's last post... but... I suppose it can't be helped. I'm all kinds of excited and nervous for this weekend. But I think Marybeth and Clayton are right. I need to just do it. I need to have this talk with him now, while he's actively thinking about post-graduation. It will seem less awkward. Plus, talking now (in hypotheticals) will be less pushy or binding than the same conversation a year from now, and it will make a future conversation easier, because we'll have already discussed it.

I would follow him anywhere. I know that sounds stupid and childish, but... I want to get out of Kirksville/MO/the country anyway, so it would be a good excuse/opportunity. My career plans are pretty flexible as well. I just hope he sees that as an ok possibility, which according to Clayton he "has to" because William is not "illogical" and it would be illogical to date someone in college that you don't want to have a future with (which is far different than not seeing it as likely. It's acceptable to accept the reality that it probably wont last forever. It is not acceptable to not want it to.)

I hate everyone I went to high school with, except MB. They are immature douche bags. It's like they've grown MORE immature as the years have past, rather than growing up like the rest of us.

So stupid.

I'm so stupidly in love. It's sad... even for me.