and William knows the location of this blog now, because he looked at my screen >.>

I'm vaguely concerned, but not enough to sort back through and find out if I should remove anything before he has a chance to read it. :)

Anyway, Marybeth is right. Being in a relationship does not mean you go dancing on rainbows and shit bunnies.

However, if there is ~no~ upside to a relationship, then it becomes what Dane Cook calls a relationshit. I know that's not what Marybeth is talking about though, just thought I'd add a disclaimer for all the girls out there getting the shit kicked out of them and thinking "but he loves me." Recently read a story about a girl like that. Made me sad.

I have to rant about how I feel about LOVE.
I feel like everyone has the ridiculous, romaticized idea of love in their tiny little brains, and I find it...really irritating. Like, yeah, it's great to sit through a movie and watch two people act like total morons, and you laugh, and are glad when they get together in the end in 'happily ever after', and then you walk out of the theater back into real life.
And real life is not the hollywood version they constantly shove down our throats. How many times do you watch a chick flick and watch the crazy antics, and they way the speak to each other, and no matter how bad the betrayal they always manage to forgive each other and fall in love forever.
That's not real life. You can't completely lie to someone over and over and expect forgiveness so easily, same with cheating, and bursting in on moments, and all sorts of terrible things.
I think a lot of people forget that relationships take WORK. They're not perfect even half the time. You're with a totally different person with opposite ideas and opinions and who sees the world in a different way than you. And sure, you can try and mold yourself into what they want, and abandon your beliefs and adopt theirs, but that only works for so long.
And love doesn't suddenly make your life right. Sure it's nice to have a person you can talk to at the end ofthe night, and who has got your back (or so you think), but all of the sudden your life wishes don't come true. Life is a bitch, and it is hard, and being with another person doesn't suddenly make it right.
You have to work every fucking day to make things good, and sometimes it doensn't even feel like work. Somedays you wake up and look at the person drooling next you and think, 'yeah, this is great,' and other times you are completely frusterated, trying to talk to another person, wondering why they would say that, why they think that, how could they wash your brand new shirts with your red underwear in hot water, etc etc.
I'm just tired of people telling me that if you're not in that blissfull feeling you feel when you first meet a person then it's not right. Love isn't a damn disney movie.

The semester has gone by at about 500 mph and is screeching to a halt rather quickly and I'm headed toward a concrete--no, make that titanium reinforced by steel (I'll explain in a second)-- wall.

I say titanium reinforced by steel because titanium is the strongest metal, but it's also one of the lightest and therefore is quite flexible, and steel is....not. :D

anyway... what I'm trying to say, kids, is.... procrastinating is bad. If you ever have a teacher that gives "leanient deadlines" for a number of things and tells you to "space them out" over the semester and that they aren't "actually due until the end of the semster" you should pretend like they are all due the second week of class, instead of all due the last week of class... because then you will be were I am, which is pulling my hair out in frustration and crying myself to sleep... ok, neither of those are true... lol. I have made William endure several rants and tantrums though...

I don't know when I'm going to be in St. Louis again... if ever... it seems less and less possible the longer life in Kirksville continues. I got a job (hopefully) at Walmart, which will start training me next week-ish (yay working during finals--shoots self) and I will probably be working all summer...

btw, this is my way of telling you I expect a visit Em Bee...

I hope everything is alright with your Grandpa by the way. Cancer sucks :(

My grandpa Bob's tumor is growing back. In his brain.
They removed it like, seven years ago, and now it's back. Doctors want to surgery. Outlook, not so good.
Everyone is scared.
Even me.

-embee

The lady on that website is pretty much the definition of creeper.

luckyfortuneforyou.com

Mine doesn't make sense, but that's okay, look yours up and see if it does.

Nerd + heels is like brains and beauty. On the outside we're all pretty and shit and on the inside we have thoughts and opinions outside of which tequila can get us drunker faster (although we can definatly answer that for you.)

Nothing new going on, Nicks parents aren't in this house right now THANK YOU JESUS. I like his parents, but I've been with them way too long, I feel like I can breathe now.
It's so beautiful.

Well, at least one of my ex-boyfriends isn't a total nerd...

www.asenseofhuber.com

yeah, he's got his own website now... way to be cool. lol. He likes the boys now, though :P which is a shame when you look at him. He didn't look like that when I dated him... in 3rd grade (yeah, we told our parents we were going to get married. lulz)... :D oh if only I hadn't moved...

He'd still be gay though, so I don't know what I'm hoping for. lol. And I have a perfectly good man in my life, probably much better in all honesty... this one's just beautiful, that's all. hehe...

Geeky Girls...

... that's why we're still friends. :D of course, most of my geeky interests are different from yours, but it's awesome that we both get to experience the ever-so-humorous responses to it. Of course, I'm lucky enough to be dating one of those "geeks who gets me" lol. Because I'm pretty sure if my boyfriend ever tried to play football... I would take him outside show him my pathetic attempt at throwing the ball, walk back inside without a word and start playing Halo, leaving him jaw-to-the-ground in shock at my terribleness in the front yard. :D

Anyway, I've gotten really really into web comics :D like comics, not manga. (Although I do read one manga also-- *sigh* can't help it... so addicting.)

Penny Arcade or this one or since Marybeth like Startrek so much

Fan Boyz

Player vs. Player

if you haven't read 'em... you so should. omgz.

Anyway, You know what sucks...
Being deathly ill from Saturday to Saturday. I cannot shake this... whatever I have. Bleh. Hurts to talk, hurts to swallow, hurts to cough, and OF COURSE I had to sing in a recital Wednesday night... heh, I took a vicodin an hour before. It went fairly well I think.

My glasses are effed up because my good-intentioned boyfriend is not so great at using super glue... I broke the frame and he basically covered the lens in glue... and got his fingers stuck. It was like watching a 5 year old. lol. But it was adorable in that "I'm never going to see out of my right eye again" kind of way. lol.

You know what's awesome though?

Sex 3 nights in a row. I may have been deathly ill, but that didn't stop him from jumping my bones almost every night this week. Not that you want to know that, I just don't have "nights in a row" very often since I'm not living with the boy. Definitely makes you forget about being sick for a while, especially since being sick made it alright for me to not put much effort forth. lol. Made my throat hurt much worse in the mornings though, I'm assuming due to the heavy/irregular breathing.

enough about sex though...

Geeky-ness is awesome. but... geeky-ness AND a great pair of heels is even awesome-er! :D

p.s. Cindy, did you know Mrs. Zustiak had a blogspot blog too?
I know this through my incredible stalking/procrastination skills.

I wish Mrs. whatsherface bitch Honors Chemistry teacher had one too so I could inform her that on my pre-chem knowledge test I made the lowest score I've ever had in my life. A 30.

I did suprisingly well in the Anat and Phys one though. It was a C, but I haven't taking an A and P class for...four years? I wonder, do you think it would scare Mrs. Dunn-Grimm (not her name, but I like it better) if she knew I was getting a masters in medicine? I think it would.
I should e-mail her and say thanks for inspiring me, even though she hated me the whole time.

Love me, hate me, say what you want about me...

Mmm, Brittney Spears. I think I love her because she is such a hot mess.

Okay, so get this. I work with a ton of nerdy boys (which is cool, I love nerdy boys. They don't have the usual arrogance normal pretty boys have, and actually have a personality outside of their drinks), and today I come in a different (lighter blue, we are in uniform, but usually I wear dark blue. It was too dirty to wear today) shirt and with my hair curled tightly (hair straigtener is broken...I am sad...but...I get to go shopping on folica.com! yay!), and begin enthusiastically explaining the benefits of more memory space on a laptop, even though it's more expensive AND they probably will never use it.
So Korey walks up to me and starts talking about Star Trek with Dustin and Rodney, and I listen quietly before jumping in (even more enthusiastically, I might add. I LOVE Star Trek), completely cutting of Dustin. And they all gape. I finally end it with "Guess what I saw on MANSers last night!" causing Rodney to tell me to leave before starts hitting on me, Dustin staring opened mouthed, and Korey inviting me over to his place to "watch Star Trek and other stuff. I have every epsiode!"
Rodney later explained that I was a rare bread of a lady, and it was very sexy.

And that's what I don't get about dudes. They jumble us all into a catagory, and if anyone breaks out its OMGZ this chick is hot.

Gay.

-embee

"would you like it if I got you some cheesecake?"

Fuck yes. Do you know me? I orgasm when I am merely in the presence of cheese cake! :D I have the best boyfriend ever. He knows exactly how to make whatever this awful illness I have, one hundred times better.

*sigh* lol. Shopping for his birthday present. Think I'm getting him this book he's mentioned a couple times called Neuromancer. No idea what it's about, but he's said about a hundred times he wants to read it.

Might get him a sonic screwdriver too. Just because he wouldn't expect it, and would find it humorous/awesome. I'm afraid I'll want to keep it when it ships in though. lol.

I'm on a mother fucking boat.

I'm not on a boat. But I wish I was.
fkbndkglkdsngkldnglkdnglkdngkldngl nl.

Nicks irritated because:
A. Blues lost.
B. I type too loud.

Still don't know if we actually GOT the apt, we're just assuming we have.
Here's to hoping.

-embee