I finally know what I'm doing post grad. lol.

I'm taking a certification course next summer with http://www.oxfordseminars.com/index.php and then I'm shipping off for a year, maybe two... who knows. I'm excited about it though.

Soooo...Herr Kirby is on facebook, his posts crack me up, plus he's been messaging me, he's really interesting! It's interesting to get to know your teachers, I like it. His bbq is this Saturday, I forgot to ask off but I have the day off anyway, so it all worked out! Finan is going with me so I don't feel strange, the only other people I know who are going from my graduating class are Kelly Storm and Antonia, and Antonia and I never really got along although that was like...highschoolever ago.

So...I got my tattoo. It didn't hurt as bad as I thought, but still hurt, like having a sunburn and then rubbing the sunburn against the carpet, but I was all worked up so when I finally felt it it was almost a relief. When he was going further up my shoulder it hurt more than at the top then the bottom, and of course he started there, but all in all it wasn't too bad. Only took like, ten minutes tops.
I kind of want another one, but I have no idea what.
Brian was pretty jealous, I think he'll get his really soon. He's in KC right now, probably really drunk. I kind of miss him. :(

-mb

Leaving for Florida from Des Moines in an hour or two. Pretty excited. William's family is great.

Saks Fifth Avenue has a new fragrance called LaMer. LOL!!! Lamer? really? Who let that name off the marketing table?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQ4j-MBnLQo

This video is so fucking retarded. You should watch it.

$3000!?!? fuck. I'd be happy if someone gave me enough to pay rent for a month, much less 3 grand.

you should do my 45 minute workout which is basically 45 minutes of squats, lunges, planks, and weights. All my least favorite things, but I'm kind of buff, so thats good, even if I'm in a near constant state of pain. Gives me a reason to let the boyfriend massage my feet.
So...I called my Grandma Linda because she told me to...she's gifting me 3000 dollars.
I am not shitting you. It's a gift. WHO HAS 3000 DOLLARS LYING AROUND THAT THEY CAN JUST GIVE AT RANDOM!?
Apparently they do. I about died, I was like, "omg thank you!" I'm very excited.

So...ive got some cash, and my arms hurt, life is pretty good.

My inactiveness is officially a health concern...

So, you wanna know what's kind of scary? Losing feeling in your right hand...for days. My right hand has been half asleep for days. And apparently it is because of low circulation (I thought it was nerve damage from something, but apparently that involves swelling, which I don't have) and that's the same reason I have painful, big veins on my upper legs... which I just thought was because I'm like... prematurely old or something, but no... just lazy. So now I get to do a bunch of goofy shit everyday to increase blood flow to my extremities. Like elevating my legs when I'm laying down (ok, correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that sound like it would ~decrease~ blood flow? Maybe I'm just stupid. lol.) and doing hand exercise-y things, and walking more... and I'm supposed to be eating healthier to, but if you looked in my wallet, you'd know that wasn't going to happen. lol.

I'm so irresponsible... @.@

I'm really jealous that William doesn't have a job or class, while I have to go to both... every day but Saturday...

ugh.

It sucks.

I don't know... I should probably be studying...choa!

STRESS!

I hate money. I hate money so much. I. am. fucked.

ugh.

Also, I'm supposed to take this test but basically, I can't...but I have to...and I still can't so... I'm fucked there as well.

ALSO, William does not want to adopt a child. I just ~assumed~ he would be on my side of this. I want to adopt because there are so many children who dont have homes or food or whatever, why would I want to selfishly bring another into the world when I could just give my love to one that's already here? Y'know? I mean... the world is over populated as it is...

He does not want to adopt. He wants a "legacy" of our genetics or something... idk.



I can not afford my bills. My job sucks. It's soul suckingly boring, and I don't get enough hours...


fuck.


I can't do my spanish homework because my book still hasn't gotten here. I don't know how I'm supposed to do the lab work because the lab is never open... omg.

I'm having a mini-panic attack.

god im drunk right now. my eyes burn.
i cant think of who killed himself, im gonna comb through my diary later and figure this out, its been bother me all day.

His name had to also be Ryan then. I wrote it in my diary, but I guess I didn't say "Simpson," so you're probably right. Or when you told me you were just in such a shock that you were confused.

Andrew was the name of my friend that killed himself summer after freshman year. That's probably what made you think of that name.

Are you sure you're not thinking of that one dude I worked with, god what was his name...I forget, that I dated before Ryan Simpson? It was like, directly before Ryan...but for the life of me I cannot remember his name. Andrew? Fuck. It was forever ago.
I can't think of why I would say that. Hm. I'm pondering, will get back to you on that later. Maybe it was some wires crossing or something. Idk.

My on-line courses are easy and easy. I have two and half weeks left, I've been breezing by, it's nice. I wish I could take them all on-line, homework in my pjs is awesome.

alright, that's it. I'm never taking an online course again. Today has been ri-dic-u-lous! I basically did an entire course, while ill, in 24 hours.

I was going to come down for the forth, but William's car broke down so... unless I walk... lol.

I feel weird on Game Crush... maybe because I wear a wig....

Ok... I'm just going to say this, because I don't know how else to say it:
You told me Ryan Simpson killed himself. a long time ago...

omfg I am so tired, but I'm playing a game with someone on gamecrush, and since he's paying me to sit here and look exhausted, I feel bad logging out. It's 3:32 though. He's in Australia, but I like him because he hasn't asked me to get naked yet. Honestly, I do not fit in here, all these dudes want is a strip show on camera. Haven't they realized there is porn all over the internet? I think he's pretty young, and he's a nice kid, so if he wants to play 800 games of battleship, whatever.
It makes me think, though, stripping on-line probably pays better than every job I've applied to recently. I even cracked and did one for wal mart, kill me.
I need funds so bad I'd do just about anything. Not street walking, but I'm getting close.
I wish you were down here for the 4th, I really want to shoot off some fireworks. Why is it that no one wants to do this? Is it an age thing, do we grow out of it?
Ryan Simpson just facebook pinged me. Omfg. I don't even know what to say, he sent a ;) and everything. Okay, all it says is, "go to bed ;)" but sttiiiiiiiill. It's been a million years. I sent back, "you go to bed." Queen of witty responses, oh well. He looks exactly the same as he did junior year, only now he's got one of those pencil mustaches, and I'm not gonna lie, it makes me think he kidnaps children on the weekends and explores their "chamber of secrets". I'm not going to tell him that though. I wonder if Death Cab is still his favorite band. It's bad, but going through his pictures, all I can think of is man, my boyfriend could kick his ass.
I need therapy.
No, I need SLEEP. The kid is jabbering on about respect. Just ask to see my boobs so I can log out and go to bed without feeling guilty.
Fuck. Now there's another one poking around. My picture is not that attractive, and most certainly not provocative.
Ryan Simpson pinged, "we should catch up sometime keep me in mind." and logged out. oooh mysterious.
It was kind of mysterious. Fuck. Now I'm interested, like, who is this boy who walked out of my life and now wants to wander back in. We should catch up. That would be a lot of fun or at least give me something to blog about after it happens.
I wonder what Brian would think? Oh, who am I kidding? If Brian doesn't care about people expressing their undying love for me because, and I quote, "They fucked up," he's not going to care about this.
Little Australian kid wants to play tic tac toe. Go to sleeeeeep little one.
Peace out ho

-mb