I hope you read this. I want you to read this. I want you to know that today was supposed to be day one. That I was prepared to take the ultimate leap of faith, to tell Nick sorry, but this isn't working, and meet you in the park and tell you the good news.
Thank you for showing me who you really are and sparing me all the trouble I would eventually face in the future with you. That everything you ever said to me was probably a huge lie. I know everything you said last night. I regret everything I said to you. I regret kissing you. I regret doing anything that ever hurt Nick.
You want to know what makes him better than you? That, even though Nick goes out with his friends a lot, and we fight over petty things, if Nick ever made me a promise, like to love me forever, or to never hurt me, Nick would keep it no matter who wanted him to go fucking bowling. Nick has proven this to me a million times.
I have all my shit together. I know where I'm going in this crazy life. And in ten years, when you're with whatever boring mundane girl you think is better than me, I want you to remember today. I want you to remember it for the rest of your life, and I want you to know that I have forgotten you. That I will never think about you again.
My heart is on my sleeve
Wear it like a bruise or blackeye
My badge, my witness
means that I believed
Every single lie you said (and learned from the best)
cause every pain of glass that your pebbles tap negates the pains I went through to avoid you
and every little pat on the shoulder for attention fails to mention I still hate you
You want apologies boy you might hold your breath until your breathing stops forever, Forever
The only thing you'll get is this curse on your lips: I hope they taste of me forever
Marybeth
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