I think the surplus of blogs is coming from the fact that I find myself constantly attached to my laptop. I take it with me everywhere at this point, and not even for my usual tomfoolery, like playing diner dash in my pharmaceuticals class, which, for the record, makes it more interesting.
It's a love story here. Plus I am never going to get my degree at the rate I procrastinate. Just sayin, even Megan Barone has her LPN at this point, and wtf do I have?
Oh yeah, that's right, I have nothing. Not that it isn't completely my fault, but STILL. Imagine that in a high pitched whiney voice. I don't want my LPN, in all fairness, I want a BSN, which is much better, and only a skip, hop, jump, and knife wound away from a masters degree in mother fucking nursing, and why the fuck did I decide I had to do this anyway? Like, I remember deciding on this, it was when Nick was wondering if he should do Veterinary Medicine, and I said, hm, I should do nursing. Let me call the nursing college and apply and shit because I want to do the things I am completely terrible at, such as math, science, chemistry, and trying to empathize with other peoples problems, oh, and not being bloody sarcastic all day. AWESOME !*^$@*^!*^#@())!&*~~~!
And I hate heroin. Just for the record. I hate talking about it, thinking about it, the fact that I accidentally just erased everything I had JUST written about it. paraphrasing other peoples well thought out articles into my words...just...Drugs are bad, m'kay?

Ranty ranty? It's nice to take a break. I sent my boyfriend out to play music, and now I'm soooo bored. I keep thinking about the gym but it's not late enough (like to avoid the abnoxious asian in there between nine and ten thirty), so instead I'm listening to Taylor Swift and blogging while pretending I have nothing else going on.
Went to Mastodon Park today. I have no fucking idea why I went, because clearly it fucks with my brain, I'm wandering down the trails thinking about how I miss doing it, and then I texted an apology to G, and I'm sure he told everyone that I'm so pathetic and begging for him back, although I did want him to text me back and I would tell him where I was, and he meet me there, and we could talk, but...gack. Anyway, he didn't say anything back, and it's probably for the best, I'm sure the nothing good would come out of it, I mean, just because we WERE friends doesn't mean we still can be, despite the fact that I miss talking to him. I am pathetic. Man.

People are people and sometimes we change our minds, but it's killing me to see you go after all this time...

Hmmm...my sister is still in love with the heroin (THERES THAT WORD AGAIN!!) addict, I don't know how to change her mind.

New topic, back to that one in a minute. So, I wrote my dad a fucking five page letter, and he fucking wrote me back. OMFG. I made Nick read it first, and then I read it to my mom over the phone and called my G-pa Jim, and then wrote back. Nick thought what I wrote back was really mean, but, I mean, I don't know how to be nice to someone like him. I don't want to be nice to him. My mom told me that if my mind was made up and I was sure I didn't want a relationship with him that I should just completely call him out, and I did, and it felt good, although my pen was shaking the whole time I wrote. I mean, I should have to be hurt over and over by him, even if he is my dad. I dunno. I mean, I'm not going to lie and pretend like I never wanted him around, but the reality of the situation is that he wasn't, and my life was shaped without him, and at nearly twenty one, I don't feel like it's necessary to have a dad figure in my life. My mom can walk my down the isle when I get married.
It makes me feel all knotty thinking about it.

I'm really tempted to call Dennis and ask him to come over and play Biosphere with me, but then we'll be here until fucking three in the morning, and I'm not sure how Nick feels about Dennis. They used to be pretty good friends in high school, or so Nick says, but Nick thinks he's weird, which is probably because Dennis smoked a lot of pot. He swears he doesn't now, and knows that I would kill him if he did, but still..

Oh. Nick came home. Yay!

-mb