Every Tom, Dick, and Harry..

According to a survey done, (no I will not cite my sources you lazy fuck. Go look it up), on average Korians had the smallest penis's, and France had the largest...

Hmm...interesting? Now we know why Courtney likes Fabrice so much, eh?



Is it strange that the same woman comes into my work every three months or so to tell me how much she hates OD and how we are ripping her off, and she is calling the head office to report us, and blah blah blah.
Well, she came into tonight.
Let me set the scene for you. Neal was on my register (register 1), because I had to use the restroom, so he was covering for me. When I got back up there he had a long line, so I jumped on 2 (not literally) and took some people in his line while he dealt with a nightmare customer. This nightmare customer wanted to split up everything she had in her basket to use all her coupons, most of which had expired. Neal had already tried to explain to her that they were expired, and it was general business practice to NOT accept those, especially if they were from the 1st of January. You can't reason with some people. She also kept trying to jew him down on prices (no disrespect meant there), can you make this thirty, the box is open, yada yada yada.
Anyway, around the time he has started her third transaction I notice crazy OD hating bitch. She's standing there with her customary Lexmark ink cartridge, the only thing she ever buys, her puppy of a husband next to her (he never says anything while she screams at me over things I can't control.). Her big beef with us (that one she's always mad about, anyway) is that we put all of our cartridges in security boxes. She feels that her ink would be astronomically cheeper if it wasn't in a box-basically, she thinks the high price is a direct result of a plastic secuirty box, and not the fact that she's buying ink for a machine about as old as me.
SO she walks up to me and sets the cartridge down, and I open it with my special security key (we call it an Alpha key, but the f knows it's actual name), and she hands me a gift card. Now, this is funny because you get the gift card in a direct result to having an Office Depot rewards card. It's a good thing to have if you buy ink (like she does) because you get 10% back on ink, which they send back to you in the form of a gift card. Which she had.
Anyway, I process the gift card, but not before asking if she has a rewards card. I know she does because of three things:
1. She just handed me the gift card (like I said)

2. She has a the paper it came in that says something like, "THANKS FOR USING YOUR OFFICE DEPOT REWARDS CARD, HERE IS YOUR GIFT CARD OMFG"

3. I can see the actual card in her wallet.

So I say, "Do you have a rewards card with us?" because I know the one time I don't ask she will want to use it.
And she replys, "Yes I do but I'm not going to be using it anymore."
So I smile in that way you smile at your senile grandma, and process her gift card, then tell her her remaing total. So she slides her card, the wrong way, so I have to correct her, and then it takes her one hundred years to put in her pin. While she is typing it in she notices a pad I have on the counter saying "Sign up now and get a 15 coupon through your e-mail!"
So she picks it up, reads it, and the slams it back down and says, and I quote, "How to YOU PEOPLE (in caps for emphasis, she didn't yell that at me) get e-mail adresses?"
And I reply with a witty, "They give them to us (it's not witty)."
And her response is, "No, they don't. I didn't give YOU PEOPLE anything."
Which is bull shit, because she has a rewards card. She probably gave me her blood type!
Anyway, I responded with, "Everyone gives them to us, I assure you we've never-"
She cuts me off to say, "I've never given you people anything! I don't know how you got it, but I didn't give it to you!"
At this point, having been dealing with that lady for months, explaining to her that No, we are not charging you for the boxes, and yes, the company directly sets the price, not us, and no I am not a direct spawn of Satan, and snap back with, "I have never done anything, to you, or anyone else. If you don't like shopping her, I can suggest other stores that sell that same cartridge, for the same price, or I can give you our corporate offices phone number and you can let them know what's going on."
And then I hand her her reciet. Now, I understand it was childish to respond that way, and unprofessional, but I am a human, and I have my braking point, and she finally hit it. I think she seemed taken aback for a minute that I had said something that wasn't cheerful, but then continued, "It doesn't matter. Do you know how many different people and times I had to call to get the people in charges number? It's ridiculous. What's your name? Marybeth? Don't worry, I'll let them know what a witch you are, and how you treat your customers. You think of me when they let you go, I sign your paycheck..."
And someother crap, but I was ringing someone else out by then.

Do you know how many people have said that? If corporate personally comes down and fires me, the peon, I will be personally impressed.

And on that note, I visisted an Office Max the other day. It's like being in Office Depot. I don't see the difference (other than the layout).

Bleh.

-Embee