If home is where the heart is then we're all just fucked...

You know if he is cheating on you I'll have to end his life, right?
Don't freak until you have proof. We could tar and feather him if he is (I've always wanted to do this, not sure why)....just think about it.

Today was my cousin Maggies (Mappie) graduation party. It's so crazy, I still feel like we're kids playing in Aunt Sue's living room, and now shes going to Indiana for college. Jake is in Chicago. My sister is (going to be if shes not careful) in Rehab. Emily is next, then we've got a while for Ben and Zach. Jeremiahs has even longer, he's only 5!!! It's just insane. I wish I would have stayed at MO state like I planned on. I wonder what I would be up to.
Oh well, too late for that.

Anyway, now it's just here, chatting with some peeps and watching Nick play Call of Duty 4. I wish something more interesting would happen, and maybe that's what's wrong with me. Maybe I am to be forever looking for some sort of "adventure."

I keep thinking about this whole...I need a code word...hmm...Carrots? Seems okay. Anyway, this whole Carrots situation. Cody at work thinks that I should just be with some Carrots, but I'm not so sure. I know someone is going to be hurt, and if it's not me, it most likely will be Carrots. I don't know why I think this, but in 14 months Carrots will be rotting on the inside, even if they don't know it.
Hopefully Sasha comes along, and Carrots flourish somewhere else. Misery loves company I think, and maybe that's my problem. I don't know, definatly don't know what to do. I don't want to make any rash decisions, even with my mom cheer leading this whole stupid thing on. I knew I shouldn't have told her, she's being a bitch about it. My mom acts like every guy I am with is abusive in some kind of way. This time she is really reaching.
At any rate, if I had any decency I would leave him alone and lie in the grave I made for myself. I would like it, because there are people out there with way more (worse) problems with me, and probably handle them with A LOT more grace.
Unfortuantly I have no decency. And that's why I hate myself.

Anyway, nine o clock is almost here, I can be glad for that.

Cindy heads back over in a little bit. Miss long eyelashes.

-embee