Ah, the winter season.

Every year, ev-er-y year we listen to the same bitching this time of year.

Mr. Agnostic doesn't like you shoving Christ down his throat, so he sues Walmart for making him feel ostracized. Mrs. Christian doesn't like you taking away her ability to say Merry Christmas, so she protests by sending a hundred email forwards with "MERRY CHRISTMAS. There, I said it!" to everyone she knows. Ms. Jewish makes a point of correcting ~anyone~ who dares say Merry Christmas to her, with a very snippy "Happy Chanukah" and Mr. Kanye West makes a public statement about how America hates black people because nobody ever talks about Kwanza.

Ok, everybody. Shut the fuck up! Listen...

Mr. I-hate-Christmas, it is not your Christian neighbors fault that Christmas is the "biggest" holiday of the year, so let them celebrate it in piece. No one is making you celebrate it. I think you can handle a nativity scene or two on your drive to work. If not, don't look at them.

Mrs. In-God-We-Trust, there are other religions in this country. I know you hate to admit that, but there are. Learn to fucking share... I mean, isn't that the Christian thing to do. Also, I have heard complaints that people try to "get what they want" out of Christians by saying that something is the "Christian thing to do." and to that I say... well... if it's the Christian thing to do, you should be doing it. End of story. No one is taking your religious rights away, so stop saying that they are. When I walk into Walmart (as much as I try to avoid it) you know what I see? Christmas shit. Everywhere.

Ms. Dont-insult-me-by-assuming-I'm-Christian, look, you have every right in the world to say Happy Chanukah to someone, and I encourage you to do so, but how about not getting so easily offended at someone for wishing you a happy season with the wrong holiday.

Kanye West, America doesn't hate black people. America hates you. If I knew someone who celebrated Kwanza, I would wish them a happy Kwanza. I would probably also ask what kind of traditions go with that, because I don't know anything about it, and I'd be interested in learning first hand, but I'm not going to go around wishing people, or worse, wishing black people specifically a happy Kwanza because that's racist, not the other way around. (Note: This is not to the actual Kanye West. The actual Kanye West, according to himself, celebrates "regular Christmas." I looked it up before completing this paragraph. The reason why I chose that title for the person is because, in my opinion, Kanye West is one of the most entitlement-complex driven people in the media in this country. This paragraph could also be directed at a paparazzi that actually wished Kanye West a "joyous Kwanza" in a tmz video-- of course it's TMZ, who else is that rude?-- and basically made an ass of himself instead of Kanye West, which I'm sure was the intent.)


The problem that actually drives this shit is commercialism. If the winter season weren't so heavily commercialized, then everyone could celebrate their holiday in relative privacy, and no one would even have a chance to feel offended. Door greeters could say "Happy Chanukah" and a patron could reply, "I celebrate Christmas, but Happy Chanukah to you." and the door greeter would reply, "Thank you, and a Merry Christmas to you."

It is our fault, by the way, that the commercialism of Christmas has gotten so out of hand. Well... ours and corporations. We let them exploit our weaknesses. Namely, our children. What does your child want for Christmas... they want the newest, most expensive toy, and you're going to get it for them, because you love them, and because if you don't, all of their friends will have one and their life will be ruined forever. Why do they want it? Because the tv told them they wanted it, and told them that they'd be a fool not to demand it from you. So you go and stand in an hour long line for a day and a half waiting to get it with hundreds of other parents in the same boat.

This is why my children will not watch tv. The can watch pre-recorded shit that I deem worthy and have cut the commercials out of, because children don't know what they want, they just let other people tell them what they want.

I have very little faith in the American public, or the American corporations. Within a couple years I will be living and working in South Korea, and you all can babble on about how America is the best place to live. More power to you, because if you like it here, that's great, but I have to believe there is something better out there, because I hate this. Everyone sues everyone, and the corporations will eventually rule the country. They will. Scifi writers know it, it's time we woke up to that truth too.

I also am aware of the irony that in telling people to stop complaining, I myself was complaining. You don't have to point it out, I know.