No more reasons to deny...

Of course she did. Ho. And I am not going to chatroulette.com if I'm going to be subjected to talking to someones wiener....okay, no I'll go right now. Hold on, let me open a new tab. Omg it wants access to my webcam and camera. I clicked deny, I'm sitting here in shorts and my star trek tshirt, no make up...hellz no. You can't play without it. No one needs to see me, especially someones wiener.
Okay, experiment over.

Dude, okay, so like, things with Brian have been going really well...kind of. I mean, on his parts I'm sure everything is fine. I'm just doubting everything now, it started a while back when I was talking to Christy, and now I can't really get what she said coupled with what Nicks faggot friend said out of my head. I feel bad because sometimes my mood just switches and I know he's sitting there thinking "wtf is wrong with this girl?!" I dunno. I know it's silly and what not.
The other night he told me he loved me, I think that has a lot to do with it. He does things just because he thinks I will like it, like recording my favorite soccer teams so I can watch it later, or he surprised me with root beer because he remembered it was the only kind of soda I really enjoy (lemonade is not soda, I'm pretty sure). I can be totally myself around him, in all my spastic nerdy glory without catching shit about it. Trip up the stairs? No big deal. Knock something over? It's all good. I think that's why it freaks me out so much, he's just so easy to get along with, and nothing phases him.
With Nick it was never like that, despite what he wants to think. He flipped out if cabinet doors got left open. He made fun of me constantly for the way I talked (semi trucks, God how I hate that I correct myself every time I start to say it), it drove him up a wall that I am unable to walk across a flat stable surface without tripping over my own feet. Nothing was ever good enough, and I was good with that for whatever reason. Stayed with him for forever and a half. He hated my hair unless it was pin straight. No curls, ever (which has always been my favorite), and au natural...no way. He would get pissed if I wanted to go out in no make up, or very little, and I've never really been a big make up person. Same with the dressing up. Nick always wanted me to be dressed up when we went out, even though he was in jeans and a band t-shirt. It looked retarded. When I woke up in the morning he would refer to me as a shebeast (dont laugh), because my hair was always crazy.
He hated my friends and my family. If anyone criticized him he would fly off the handle. How dare my mom dislike him. It couldn't be him, it was her, she's a crazy bitch. My friends made fun of him in Balderdash (who doesn't get made fun of), it's all, you could do better, those people aren't your friends.
How dare Nick tell me I was the one who treated him poorly. I forget Nick, was I the one who would go out late every night with my friends to random disgusting bars while you stayed home, did I roll in at three....I'm getting sidetracked. He just pisses me off.
Anyway, my point here is that, even in the beginning, a lot of things were like that (the hair and make up thing especially. Nick and I started fighting like a week into our relationship, and that is not an exaggeration. It was in a movie theater parking lot, he was pissed that Finan and I went running together), and with Brian it is the total opposite. I could walk around covered in dirt and I don't think Brian would say crap about it (I referenced mud the other day and he seemed down for that). He tells me pretty when I look like a mess, like a hardcore mess, make up running and jacked up hair (I had gotten wet). Half the time I'm not even sure what I'm doing, just looking at him, or tossing my hair and he's suddenly trying to remove all my clothing. Everything is, "baby it's not a big deal," everything. I don't think we could fight. We had an argument, if you could even call it that. Possibly a miscommunication. Anyway, it was super nice, and was resolved in like, a minute.
uuuuuuuggggghhhh I don't know why I'm complaining. Hit me. This boy is way too good for me, but I think I deserve it.


Do you ever look at the weird people on facebook, and when you notice they have a boyfriend click the link just because you want to see who could possibly love them? I do that every once and a while, and then wonder if people do that to me.

Sorry for blogging specifically about my boyfriend. I'll try and be more interesting later on.

-mbiz