I feel sick. I feel like the worst kind of person. I don't care if Brian says he's not upset with me, I am upset with myself. What I don't understand is how you can sleep at night. Oh, that's right! You can't! I guess it's because you basically the worst human being on the planet. You are disgusting, and pathetic, and worthless. You sit at home all day on your pathetic ass and you do nothing, and you tell your pathetic little sob story and wait for people to validate you.
I'm done doing that for you. I'm done staying awake at night talking to you because I want to believe you were that nice boy I used to know. I don't think you ever really were, I just had this made up fantasy about you in my head, and when you shattered it all those months ago I just couldn't let go because I wanted so bad to believe it was true.
So thank you for fucking me Garrett, that's the real reason I didn't want to fucking see your face after that. Because it was the realization that you repulsed me, that you and Nick and every other ass I've dated, you're all the same. So you can like to Beth and everyone else, but you can't lie to me. I am the only person who was probably ever really honest with you, and I'm probably the only person who ever loved you. I don't love you anymore. And I haven't loved you for a long time. I was holding on, hoping you could be my best friend. But you never were a friend to me, were you Garrett? You don't know how to be a friend, not to me or anyone. And for the first time in a long time I am legitimately happy. And you will never know how that feels.
I would pity you, if the idea of feeling sorry for you didn't make me want to vomit again. I deleted your phone number out of my phone, and I'm never talking to you again, like I should have months ago. I'm not lying for you anymore, you made your bed, now you can lie in it. I am not afraid of you.
It's incredibly satisfying knowing in five years my life will mean something, and yours will not.

Cindy. I know you already know about me sleeping with Garrett, so this isn't a huge shock to you. Bummer. I hope you're okay, and you should text me.

-mb